BDSM Without the Toys
When most people think of BDSM they often imagine rooms filled with a variety of equipment and gadgets, otherwise referred to as toys. There are floggers and gags, cuffs, chastity devices, cock rings in seemingly endless supply. Reading about our favorite characters using all their toys is fun and exciting.
However, there is a whole other side to BDSM. It’s a lifestyle and it’s an attitude. One doesn’t need all the ‘stuff’ to have great BDSM sex. First and foremost, BDSM requires willing participants, no one should ever be forced into it.
When I was writing the beginning of the Sentries series I faced a bit of a conundrum. My first obstacle was because in the world I was creating there weren’t going to be the selection of manufactured toys we have available today. I realized BDSM has probably existed long before we gave a name to it and catalogs of equipment came to life. So, in the case of Todd and Nick Ruger, their version of BDSM focuses on mind, attitude and emotion.
My next hurdle was that in the story Nick is an actual slave. He wears a collar designating his status and there are laws and rules of their society that governs some of his interactions.
Todd introduces Nick to a sexual Dom/sub and BDSM life. It’s something Todd enjoys and he hopes his new partner will enjoy it as well. As it turns out, Nick enjoys it very much. What Todd in actuality does, is offer Nick the freedom to explore his sexuality, something Nick had never done before. Being a naturally very curious person, Nick wants to explore this new part of his life to the fullest.
While they use some simple devices, cloth restraints, a feather, and a tether, as well as putting Nick’s collar to some creative uses that’s about it for their array of toys. Their BDSM is raw emotion and their imaginations. Instead of using a gag to prevent talking, Nick keeps silent from sheer self-control. Orgasm denial is not attained through a chastity device, but from willpower. Using the mind and emotion in place of BDSM toys is very powerful. The characters need to draw on each other and their desire to please their partner without artificial aid.
Like every healthy BDSM couple, they balance what they desire in bed with their day to day lives. They spend time learning what each other desires from their sex life and what they enjoy the most. Outside of their bedroom and despite how their society designates their roles. they are a true couple. They each have equal footing in their relationship. They depend on each other and often place their lives in the hands of their partner.
Todd may be an actual owner and Nick an actual slave, but that is only one small part of their relationship. They’re a team, a willing team in all aspects of their life. They’ve spent time learning about each other. As the series progressed their relationship grows and becomes stronger.
So, what's your opinion? Which do you enjoy better lots of toys and equipment with your D/s and BDSM or the simpler approach that focuses completely on two people?
Join the conversation to be entered into a drawing to win one ebook copy of the Sentries book of your choice. Or an ebook copy of For the Long Run, my other BDSM book, that one has lots of toys!
To enter the blog hop contest see the earlier post HERE.
I'll announce my winners Sunday evening US Eastern time.
The most difficult thing about publishing is promoting, not because in and of itself it is a hard thing to do, but because I'm not good at 'tooting my own horn' so to speak.
I have four books out as of today, with a fifth on the way in a few month. Three of those are part of a series I have no problem talking about since I love it dearly!
Chained Hearts is the latest release and third in the Sentries series. It finds our guys deep in a war where battles take place on physical and psychic battlefields.
This series takes place in a future that has drastically changed, some for the good and some for the bad. The series revolves around the lives and love of our two heroes, Todd and Nick Ruger.
They are sentries, protectors against the natural and supernatural, keeping the good citizens of their world safe. Todd was born into a family of sentries, Nick was born a slave and bonded to Todd at a young age.
Through it all they become not only partners but a family.
Marked Yours starts their journey and cements their relationship.
Things in this society are not always what they seem, and that holds true for the owner/slave aspect.
While Nick is proud of who he is, and who he's owned and bonded to, Todd isn't thrilled to be an owner. That doesn't stop him from falling in love with Nick.
Together Bound chronicles maybe one of their most important missions and throws them into the middle of political intrigue and war.
They face a deadly and clever enemy that nearly tears them apart. In the end they both learn the meaning of loyalty and love, teaching them each what is important, and that is each other.
Sentries series is love, adventure and some good old-fashioned ass-kicking. I hope you'll join me on the journey and enjoy it as much as I love writing the story of Todd and Nick Ruger!
All three books in the Sentries series can be purchased from Dreamspinner Press, as can my other title, Strays.
This post is part of YAM's incredible week long Blog-a-thon. Please check it and all the other talented and wonderful contributors.
This originally appeared on Jadette Paige's blog in October 2011.
Apocalypse: a drastic change often brought on by some cataclysmic natural disaster.
The world of the Sentries series evolves because of an apocalypse. In this case I chose the Wyoming Super Volcano. The story of Todd and Nick Ruger begins three hundred years after its eruption changes not only the geography of North America, but the society, the people, and how they live and interact with the rest of the world.
Their world has electricity provided by solar panels, but no electronic devices. There is steam transportation, but most people use horses. From the ashes of an apocalypse rose a society different from the one before in many ways.
It’s a mix of the old and new. I try to drop in details they’d see or know about the world in the centuries before their time, just as we would today. Holdovers such as roads and books are sprinkled throughout the stories. Archeological evidence of what went before.
Together Bound is second in the Sentries series and picks up about eighteen months after the beginning of the first book, Marked Yours. In the first book they face the challenges of a new relationship, men getting to know one another and forging a life together.
While I was writing Together Bound I had definite goals in mind for the story, plot and characters. Their story is one that will, hopefully, be told over the course of six books, so lots of gradual character development and exciting situations for them to experience.
In Together Bound they face, separately and together, inner and outer forces that threaten who they are as individuals and as a couple. Todd learns about some aspects of his personality he’d rather stay buried and never see the light of day. For Nick, he’s faced—for the first time in his life—with having to function on his own and make his own choices.
This story is about change, choices and staying the same while growing. All people, all couples go through ups and downs in life, an owner and slave would be no different. I wanted to move the characters forward in their lives. They needed to face obstacles neither would expect, ones that would ensure they’d mature as individuals and a couple.
Nick’s change is particularly significant. He starts the book still on the precipice between boy and man, sheltered and protected by Todd. By the time the book ends he’s very much a man and Todd’s true partner in all aspects of their life together. He’s given the chance to make choices, ones that affect him, Todd and him as a couple, and other people.
Todd has plenty of decision making to do as well. He’s Nick’s owner, his protector, responsible for every part of Nick’s life. More than anything Todd wants a mate. He wants Nick and him to be a family. Todd needs to learn letting go is sometimes the way to hang on tight.
Just as an apocalypse sets in motion creation of the society Todd and Nick live in, one changes their lives. Each man must make decisions on his own that affect them both as a couple, creating their own personal apocalypse and changing the course of their lives forever.
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