BDSM BLOG HOP: BDSM Without the Toys!

---

---

BDSM Without the Toys

When most people think of BDSM they often imagine rooms filled with a variety of equipment and gadgets, otherwise referred to as toys. There are floggers and gags, cuffs, chastity devices, cock rings in seemingly endless supply. Reading about our favorite characters using all their toys is fun and exciting.

However, there is a whole other side to BDSM. It’s a lifestyle and it’s an attitude. One doesn’t need all the ‘stuff’ to have great BDSM sex. First and foremost, BDSM requires willing participants, no one should ever be forced into it.

When I was writing the beginning of the Sentries series I faced a bit of a conundrum. My first obstacle was because in the world I was creating there weren’t going to be the selection of manufactured toys we have available today. I realized BDSM has probably existed long before we gave a name to it and catalogs of equipment came to life. So, in the case of Todd and Nick Ruger, their version of BDSM focuses on mind, attitude and emotion.

My next hurdle was that in the story Nick is an actual slave. He wears a collar designating his status and there are laws and rules of their society that governs some of his interactions.

Todd introduces Nick to a sexual Dom/sub and BDSM life. It’s something Todd enjoys and he hopes his new partner will enjoy it as well. As it turns out, Nick enjoys it very much. What Todd in actuality does, is offer Nick the freedom to explore his sexuality, something Nick had never done before. Being a naturally very curious person, Nick wants to explore this new part of his life to the fullest.

While they use some simple devices, cloth restraints, a feather, and a tether, as well as putting Nick’s collar to some creative uses that’s about it for their array of toys. Their BDSM is raw emotion and their imaginations. Instead of using a gag to prevent talking, Nick keeps silent from sheer self-control. Orgasm denial is not attained through a chastity device, but from willpower. Using the mind and emotion in place of BDSM toys is very powerful. The characters need to draw on each other and their desire to please their partner without artificial aid.

Like every healthy BDSM couple, they balance what they desire in bed with their day to day lives. They spend time learning what each other desires from their sex life and what they enjoy the most. Outside of their bedroom and despite how their society designates their roles. they are a true couple. They each have equal footing in their relationship. They depend on each other and often place their lives in the hands of their partner.

Todd may be an actual owner and Nick an actual slave, but that is only one small part of their relationship. They’re a team, a willing team in all aspects of their life. They’ve spent time learning about each other. As the series progressed their relationship grows and becomes stronger.


So, what's your opinion? Which do you enjoy better lots of toys and equipment with your D/s and BDSM or the simpler approach that focuses completely on two people?


Join the conversation to be entered into a drawing to win one ebook copy of the Sentries book of your choice. Or an ebook copy of For the Long Run, my other BDSM book, that one has lots of toys!


To enter the blog hop contest see the earlier post HERE.


I'll announce my winners Sunday evening US Eastern time.