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On books, dogs, the pursuit of astronomy and good coffee

newsletter

Marriage & Me...Andrew Q Gordon and Family

7/5/2013

 
I recently had the pleasure of meeting Andrew at the Dreamspinner authors' conference. He is not only a talented author, but an absolutely delightful person. Talking with it is apparent almost immediately he is a very family oriented type of guy. Andrew is the man with the adorable little girl on his shoulders is Andrew.
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Wednesday June 26, 2013, marked a big day in the march for equality – no I promise not to turn this into a huge political post. The decisions by the Supreme Court of the United States were big – but no means the final – steps toward marriage equality.  For my family and me, however, it was a big day. [Could have been bigger, but I'll get to that.]

We live in a state that allows gay marriage. We moved to Maryland hoping in time the state would join the crowd and allow us to get married one day and the good folks of Maryland didn't disappoint. Last November they voted by a fairly wide margin to permit all couples to marry.

But there was still a hurdle – DOMA. Even though Maryland recognized us as married, the federal government did not. So we had to file separate taxes, they wouldn't recognize our status for estate planning purposes and they denied us about 1098 more rights other couple who are married enjoy.

A big one for us was health care. While we both have health insurance through work, it was a lot cheaper for us to have one family plan instead of a family plan AND an individual one. There were/are other considerations, but that's an idea.

So for us, Wednesday marked a big day and I had equally big plans to commemorate the day. Knowing a decision was coming, I picked out a ring – nothing fancy, just a place holder until we get the ones we want – and kept it at my office to keep it a secret. 

My co-workers all knew and wished me well.  I had it all planned out – I'd find a way to distract him, then give 'lil q the ring and tell her to give it to daddy.  It was perfect.

Until I forgot to bring the ring home Wednesday night.

Unfortunately, by the time I realized what I'd done, it was too late. 'lil q would be asleep before I could go to the office and back, Mike would be suspicious of what I was up to and that just wasn't how I planned it. 

So we did it a day later.  My only regret is only having two hands. I wished I could have filmed 'lil q walking over in her sundress and sandals as only a toddler can do, and handing him the ring.  After he asked, "what's this?" And I said, "marry me."  He said yes and then 'lil q grabbed for the ring and said, "'lil q's." [She actually used her real name, but I don't use that on line.]

So what's all this got to do with anything? Not a whole lot really, but I figured I'd share it. 

In the week or so since, I've wondered what the future will be like for my daughter's generation and beyond. They will no doubt have their own issues and their own struggles, but the ones that shape M/M fiction today – coming out struggles, discrimination, bigotry toward LGBT – wont be as prominent as they were for my generation. Yes they'll exist, but they won't dominate her generation's LGBT members.  Things that seemed inconceivable even four or five years ago – the end of DOMA, gay athletes playing openly in professional sports, a majority of Americans supporting gay marriage – are now a reality.

A well known, best selling author who writes M/M fiction said in an interview I did with her that she wanted to write a story about someone who wasn't gay bashed, whose parents accepted him, who was well adjusted, well accepted and comfortable with who he was. Then she could write the story of an average kid with 'normal' problems. It was a great book and it sold quite well.

 


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So far, all of my books have followed a similar path. In (Un)Masked, the main characters are gay, but the fact they are had nothing to do with the conflict – well other than their relationship issues.  The Last Grand Master - which might not count as it's fantasy – is another example where the sexuality of the main characters has next to no impact on the conflict or tension of the book.


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In my newest release – Purpose – Ryan is rejected by his family for his sexuality, but it too is just a minor part of the overall plot. I'm not saying coming out angst, family tensions, rejection, bigotry and the like won't exist and won't be written about in the future, but I suspect we'll see more 'main stream' relationship issues going forward.

I'll end by saying it seems fitting that 'lil q reached out for the ring I gave her daddy. In so many ways, it – and the rest of the future – is hers. The possibilities are endless; all she has to do is reach for them.



Blurb:

Forty years ago the Spirit of Vengeance—a Purpose—took William Morgan as its host, demanding he avenge the innocent by killing the guilty. Since then, Will has retreated behind Gar, a façade he uses to avoid dealing with what he’s become. Cold, impassive, and devoid of emotion, Gar goes about his life alone—until his tidy, orderly world is upended when he meets Ryan, a broken young man cast out by his family. Spurred to action for reasons he can't understand, Gar saves Ryan from death and finds himself confronted by his humanity.

Spending time with Ryan helps Will claw out from under Gar’s shadow. He recognizes Ryan is the key to his reclaiming his humanity and facing his past. As Will struggles to control the Purpose, Ryan challenges him to rethink everything he knew about himself and the spirit that possesses him. In the process, he pushes Will to do something he hasn't done in decades: care.

Buy link: Purpose from Dreamspinner Press


Visit Andrew's Website

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Mel Leach
7/5/2013 03:52:36 am

Great post, Andrew, and it said so many things that have been roaming through my mind of late. I just finished Purpose a few days ago and I have to say one of the things I liked about it was that it was a really good novel in which the characters just happened to be gay. As you said, there were background issues for them because of their sexuality, but that’s not what drove the story.

When I stumbled over the M/M genre a couple of years ago, I read the usual authors, stories, and series. But over the past year I have been venturing out of that box and reading primarily works from new authors, like yourself, and I am finding there is a growing pool of tremendous literary talent out there. You all tend to get pigeon-holed into the M/M genre because your characters are gay even when the storyline itself is not necessarily purely a romance novel. I think that is a shame because there is a huge reading audience out there that is missing out on this talent.

So I am looking forward to the day when the sexuality of the story’s characters is not the driving factor in what genre the book is placed. I think that is the world that most of us want to live in.

Andrew Q. Gordon link
7/5/2013 07:07:07 am

Mel,

I agree that it will be nice when the sexuality of MC won't dictate the 'genre' unless it's a romance and then it will be a romance in the sub genre of m/m instead of the sub-genre of m/f.

I've been very lucky in my life - I have an accepting family, never been gay bashed, been discriminated against because I'm gay, am 100% out at work and have been since I took the job 15 years ago, etc. For me the struggles in my life have had nothing to do with my sexuality and everything to do with the same things my m/f couple friends deal with - a house, kids, dogs, aging parents, bad bosses etc.

For me I want to write stories with a MC who happens to be gay, not a gay story or a story about a gay man's struggles. In some ways, I wonder if I'd sell better if I stuck to the tried and true Tropes. But then again, I never set out to right a commercially successful cookie cut type story so I am not sure I can. :)

Thanks for the comment and for coming by Elizabeth's site - I think it's visually amazing the way she's set it up so I like being here.

-AQG


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    Welcome to My World
    Elizabeth Noble

    Mystery, action, chills, and thrills spiced with romance and desire. ELIZABETH NOBLE lives by the adage "I can't not write." She doesn't remember a time when she didn't make up stories and eventually she learned how to put words on a page. Those words turned into books and fan fiction that turned into a genuine love of M/M fiction. A part of every day is spent living in worlds she created that are filled with intrigue and espionage. She has a real love for a good mystery complete with murder and twisty plots as well as all things sci-fi, futuristic, and supernatural.

    When she's not chronicling the adventures of her many characters, Elizabeth is a veterinary nurse living in her native Cleveland, Ohio. She has three grown children and now happily shares her little, brick house with two spunky Cardigan Welsh Corgis and their feline sidekicks. Elizabeth is a fan of baseball, basketball (go Cavs and Cleveland Guardians!) and gardening. She can often be found working in her 'outside office' listening to classic rock and plotter her next novel waiting for it to be dark enough to gaze at the stars.

    Elizabeth has received a number of amateur writing awards. Since being published, several of her novels have received Honorable Mentions in the Rainbow Awards. Jewel Cave was a runner-up in the Gay Mystery/Thriller category in the 2015 Rainbow Awards. Ringed Love was a winner in the Gay Fantasy Romance category of the 2016 Rainbow Awards.

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  • Home
  • Circles
  • El Corazon
    • Scintilla
  • Sentries
    • The World of Sentries
    • Marked Yours (Book #1 of Sentries)
    • Together Bound (book #2 of Sentries)
    • Chained Hearts (Book #3 of Sentries)
    • Collared Souls (Book #4 of Sentries)
    • Tethered Pair (Book #5 of Sentries)
    • Ringed Love (Book #6 of Sentries)
    • Free Read--Take What's Yours
    • Free Read: Heart, Home & Hearth
    • Free Read: Fox Tails
    • Sentries series reviews
  • The Sleepless City Shared Universe
    • Shades of Sepia (book #1)
    • Electric Candle (book #2)
    • Family and Reflection (Book #3)
    • Shifting Chaos (book #4)
    • Free Read: This Crazy Little Thing
    • The Guys!
    • Location, Location, Location
  • The Vampire Guard
  • Edge Jump
  • For the Long Run
  • High Test
  • Whiskey and Moonshine
  • Pain and Pleasure
    • Home Coming
    • The Art of Domination
    • The Freedom of Submission
    • Love and Lust
    • No Regrets
  • Strays
  • 29 Hours to Eternity
  • Subscribe to my Newsletter
  • About Me
  • Thoughts and Things Blog
    • The Amazing Adventures of The Great White Hunter and Princess Paws
    • Finn's Log
  • Translations
    • French Translations
    • Spanish Translations
  • Book Bundles
  • Free Reads
  • My Fan Fiction Collection
  • Complete Privacy Policy